Monday, May 20, 2013

Making Friends Is Hard

All my life I've found it tough to make friends. I still have quite a few friends I made as a child growing up in a small town. Those friends are amazing, because they've stuck around this long. I thank them for that. Making friends as an adult is the hardest though.


Making friends is hard enough, but making them as an adult is even harder. I'm often shy when meeting new people, but once I get to know you I come out of my shell. Being in a crowd of people intimidates me too. I'm much more relaxed around a smaller group of friends. Circumstances don't always allow for comfort though. I suppose I probably have to bust out of my comfort zone if I ever want to make new friends!

My husband and I left Colorado almost two years ago, and we just moved to a new city in Florida this past January. That doesn't make it easier to have friends. Sometimes it feels like we're in that awkward in-between phase of married life where we aren't quite newlyweds anymore but have no children either. It's almost like we aren't sure where we fit at the moment. We aren't sure we want to make a life in Florida either. Awkward. Kind of like middle school all over again.

For anyone out there who moves a lot...
where do you meet new friends?


6 comments:

  1. In Houston there's a fun social company Events and Adventures. They do all sorts of things like zip lining, group dates, social outings, and more. I would think Florida has something like that.

    I've been fortunate that all of Brandon's friends from his home town has pretty awesome wives/girlfriends that I really do get a long with. At first though, I felt so out of place and that I was leaving all of my friends back in College Station and wouldn't have anyone when we moved.

    I'm so glad we hit it off great! ;)
    Love ya, sweet girl. xo
    Lish

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh dear! Making friends as an adult is SO hard! When I moved to Texas I made all my friends at school and at work. Then I became friends with my husbands co-workers wives. I'm quiet around new people until I get to know them and people often think of me as a stuck up little biotch because of it haha ugh good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We've moved 6 times in 7 years, so I totally feel you on this. It's difficult to make new friends when you're not sure how long you'll be settled in one place. I'm not super out going in groups either and keep my social circle really small. My husband's job will have us constantly moving for years, so I suppose I better figure out easy ways to make friends and fast! We've been back in AA for 2 years now and I've met a lot of people, but I wouldn't say I've made any truly close friends. Bummer that everyone moved away after graduation! Even with kids playgroups and preschool, I find it hard to meet other people my age. Doesn't help that it's hard getting out of the house being pregnant with two toddlers! When I moved to Charlotte out of college, I met a lot of my friends through work. Now that I stay at home I miss out on those relationships. I also used to play a lot of competitive beach volleyball (Warning: it is kind of hard getting used to some of the outdoor vs indoor rules. I just wanted to set the ball!) and met a lot of great people that way. I'm sure there are a ton of sports leagues in Florida you could try? If you figure out a good way to make great friends, please share! It can get a little lonely some times especially when the hubs is always gone. If you have any friends in the AA area that have little kids and enjoy drinking beers in the middle of the day pass along their contact info because those are my kind of moms haha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I joined a running club, and that helped meet people who were interested in the same thing as me. I totally understand your feeling about you're not sure where you fit in at the moment. My husband and I really want to move, but need to line up some ducks....so life can sometimes feel like it is on hold. I think it is important though to make the most of every day, even the days in waiting. I'm typing this for me as I am for you because it is a daily reminder. I think life is really experienced to the fullest outside of our comfort zone. Make sense. Will be thinking of you! That is also a really great picture of you and your husband :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree. Making friends as an adult can be very difficult, especially if you're introverted like me. I think if it weren't for work I wouldn't have met many people at all when I first moved to Maryland. Although I moved here with a friend, it was very hard for us to branch out to expand our circle of friends. I actually met my husband at work (at the time we worked for the same company). I can admit that I've only met new friends through work or through my husband since living in MD.... well, I met one blogger in person on my own!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Ashley!
    I thought I was reading a blog about myself for minute. I'm just the same way you are. Fortunately Shawn and I don't have careers that require us to move often, we are permanent residence of South Carolina! Regardless, I it's still very difficult for woman in general to make close friends. I admire how easy it is for guys to make and keep friends. All that being said, my middle sister Jaime and her husband are military and move all the time and they are pro's at making BFF's where ever they go and impressively keep the friendship for years after moving!! They always seem to luck out having great neighbors though. During one move Jaime's husband made the initiative to walk over to their new neighbors barely having the house unpacked yet to shake hands, introduce himself and boldly invite them both out on their boat that same weekend. They hit it off and became the greatest of friends that they shared frequent dinner nights with. I think it's a matter of just jumping in with both feet. What do you have to lose!? Invite a couple over for dinner or go out for dinner if your more comfortable and sometimes it takes more effort on your part to keep the friendship going in the beginning but in the long run its worth it. Shawn and I most recently moved to a different neighborhood and I'm planning a dinner night with a couple of couples from the neighborhood...wish me luck!!

    ReplyDelete