Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Things That Break My Heart

This blog post unfortunately isn't about 'bliss' or happy things.
Recently I've experienced some things that truly make my heart ache.

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Obviously this word alone sounds sort of painful,
but when you see firsthand the effects it has on families and individuals,
it makes me want to cry.

It took everything in me to not 'turn on the waterworks' yesterday at work.
Let me explain.

There was an older woman shopping for new clothes, and I asked her what the occasion for all of the new clothes was. She responded, "I'm getting a divorce." First of all, her answer sort of caught me off guard. I started getting teary-eyed, and it took everything in me to stop the tears. You're never exactly sure what to say when a stranger telling you of their divorce. I said how sorry I was, and then she elaborated by telling me she wanted some nice new clothes for dating. I instantly felt a deep sadness for this woman. Clearly she didn't want this. She went on to tell me how scared she was to date again, and I think that dating in your 20s is scary enough. I could not even imagine entering the 'dating scene' after years of marriage! I attempted comforting her by telling her that she will meet the perfect man when the time is right, but my heart was aching for this stranger.

I could only imagine the pain of divorce and the effects it has on a person.
My heart breaks for those who deal with divorce.

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Recently I've read a few blog posts of young couples dealing with a miscarriage. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of losing an unborn child. Pregnancy is supposed to bring so much happiness and love into a life, and it just seems unfair when that's all taken away in an instant. My heart breaks for those who lose a child. Whether or not that child is unborn or not, miscarriage is such a sad and painful thing.

Again, there never seems to be the 'right' words for those who suffer a miscarriage. One of my husband's co-worker's wives experienced multiple miscarriages (we're talking more than 5 or 6) before finally giving birth to a healthy baby. Talk about faith! They never gave up trying, even through all the pain of loss. It makes me incredibly sad hearing about miscarriage, but it seems to be a part of life. As much as we may hate it, loss is part of life. That doesn't mean we won't weep for those we lose.

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Life is something to celebrate, but of course that idea doesn't make the death of a loved one any easier at the moment. My heart breaks for those who have lost someone dear to them.

Lately I've been having more thoughts about my grandparents who I never had the pleasure of meeting. My mom's parents died, twenty days apart, when her and my aunt were just entering their teenage years. For whatever reason, recently I've been really wondering who they were. What kind of people were they? From the little I have heard, they were very kind and loving souls. I grieve for them, even though I never had the chance to meet them. How do you grieve the loss of someone you've never met? It's a strange thought, but it's possible I suppose.

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Sorry for all of the doom and gloom.
My heart may be a bit heavy as of lately.
All of these painful things break my heart.
If you've experienced some of these things recently, or are still dealing with the effects of them,
know that you are not alone.


  1. I feel the same way about a couple of those things lately. I've ran across a lot of bloggers who have either miscarried or are infertile. It scares me to death to think of either of those two things, especially being older and trying to have kids.

    I think of death a lot lately, too much and I shouldn't be thinking this way. I am constantly worried about my parents and thinking of the limited amount of time we may have left together. It gets worse when I see friend's parents around me pass away, I've seen it too much the past few years and it scares me. :(

  2. oh me i loved this post!!! you never know what is going on in peoples lives!!

  3. Oh Ashley! You have such a kind heart girl! You are compassionate and kind! And all these situations are heartbreaking.. Your incident with the woman shopping for clothes reminds me of Giselle in Enchanted. Have you seen it? The part where she starts crying when a couple tells her they're divorcing?? Totally reminds me of your situation... And also I think in our society we are desensitized to it now.. And we shouldn't be. It's heartbreaking...Especially when children are involved..

    Wow.. Life can be so tragic and devastating.. Yet beautiful at the same time.. Miscarriages..Births.. Infertility. Marriages..Divorce..Death.. Happiness. Sadness.. Life is so full and yet can feel so empty at times...

    Great post Ashley!

    Janette, the Jongleur

  4. Aww, that lady at your work makes me sad. Finding the right words for any of those situations is never easy. God has a reason for all the bad that happens in our lives. Maybe it's to show us how to appreciate the good things?

    Love this post, friend.

    Hope you're having a wonderful week in spite of all the things that have happened the past few days.


  5. gloomy, yes. but sometimes they just have to be talked about, right?

    Hope your heart isn't too heavy today...

  6. what a thoughtful post. I'm sorry you're feeling blue! But how GOOD that you have sympathy for others in your heart :) sending you sunshine thoughts!

  7. Some of these things have been happening around here too - I'm terrible at knowing what to say.
    I guess that's a way of making us appreciate how blessed we are!